Chiropractic Class

About six weeks ago, I threw out my back. I wound up prone on the gym floor, and after a few rounds of painkillers and muscle relaxants, and lots of research, I found a chiropractor. I was a little skeptical of some of his philosophies, but since I couldn't stand up straight and had pulled my hips and pelvis out of alignment, I figured a few sessions wouldn't hurt. Well, they would probably hurt, but I'd feel better in the end, right?

My thrice-weekly sessions last about 15 minutes. He adjusts my back and neck after a little heat and massage, and then I leave. I still have bouts of significant muscle pain, but I think I may be getting a little better. And my hips have started to realign, which is great.

The one really odd hitch about this guy is that he requires a chiropractic orientation. An hour-long course that all of his patients are required to take. Every class so far has been at a time I've had another commitment. I've also been resistant to going because I'm not new to chiropractic care, I already do most of what I thought he'd recommend (stretching, exercise, icing and drinking lots of water), and he was insistent I bring a partner or friend.

Seeing as I'm single and live alone and anything he'd teach I would have to implement on myself, I declined. I also didn't want him trying to solicit business from anybody I might bring, so I went alone. Tonight. To chiropractic class.

And stepped into a room filled with the doctor and three sedentary-looking senior citizens. He gave an overview of his training and experience and then talked about stretching and exercises we could do to relieve pain and prevent further back problems. I already do them all, as well as a bunch of others I would have recommended, but this crew couldn't touch their toes, and I didn't want to hurt anybody. Then he mentioned how he knew I exercised "a little," and how the guy next to me did too.

Perhaps he and I have had a miscommunication. I walk, on average, six miles a day. I workout for at least an hour and a half at a time. I swim a half mile at least once or twice a week. I'm training for a 12K and have plans to walk a half marathon next year. I AM AN ENDURANCE ATHLETE. I didn't belong in a class with a woman who claimed to like yoga so much she did poses in her sleep, a lady who occasionally works out at Curves, and Al, who looked like he hadn't done anything physical since the Carter administration.

At that point, I felt I'd outlived my time there, and I was right. He taught some techniques I've been using since I was on the high school track team, and then he proceeded to launch into his sales pitch. He even offered a free exam to anybody we referred to him. He actually offered that we could leave him with the phone numbers of people who might benefit from the free consultation. I was actually referred to him by a friend, and I didn't get a free exam. I hope she's at least getting a few free appointments for sending me his way.