As I've just gone on a first date, I present the top nine ways to guarantee there won't be a second date:
1. Talk endlessly about your stock portfolio.
2. Take jabs at your family and the expense of traveling for the holidays (especially in light of #1 above).
3. Talk to me like I'm an idiot, especially about topics relating to my previous career.
4. Arrange to have a friend stop by the bar.
5. Keep one eye on the television long after the baseball game ends.
6. Assume that I'll have dinner with you at that expensive French restaurant before asking how I feel about French food.
7. Touch me when you haven't been invited to.
8. Talk a lot about your stock holdings, and how lucky you were during the bust years.
9. When I start sneezing repeatedly and say I need to leave, linger over your drink with your friend for 10 minutes.
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What a dick.
ReplyDeleteWho WAS this guy? And can you take revenge on whoever set you up?
ReplyDeleteRule number 1 for first dates from your mother, meet the guy someplace so you can come and GO alone. When he is a dick, as most are, leave him there. If he is super dick, tell him you are going to the ladies room, and leave. Always leave yourself an out, literally. Of course this comes from someone who lived across the hall!
ReplyDeleteJust don't try to sneak out through the bathroom when it's on the SECOND floor.
ReplyDelete