There's no crying in baseball, especially when witnesses are WATCHING your trainer stick a needle full of steroids in your ass

Pitchers and catchers have started reporting for duty. Jason Giambi has come out in support of Miguel Tejada and Alex Rodriguez's current steroid-induced legal troubles. And Friday evening the San Francisco Chronicle reported that Barry Bonds did indeed have somebody shoot him full of something while other people were watching. And they will testify. And he allegedly confessed to former Giants catcher Bobby Estalella, who will also testify.

Now, I've written before about my dismay at the abuse of steroids among professional athletes. But now seems the time to clue these guys into something that apparently consistently catches them unaware. Whether you're Jason Giambi or Barry Bonds or Michael Phelps, somebody is watching you swallow or shoot or smoke. And if you can't be certain you can trust your friends to keep their mouths shut, you should probably not do drugs in front of them.

Really, what happened to the classy days of the '70s, when disco queens used to snort or shoot up in the privacy of dance club bathrooms? Get a clue, boys. Your friends only have your back while the money is rolling in. But they'll take notes and hide tape recorders and shoot photos and gossip to their friends despite the nice perks of being your pal. And once you hit the off season or ponder retirement or can't get a minor league contract, "these friends" will quickly disappear, taking the emails, the recordings, the photos on their camera phones, and all of your "secrets" with them as they flee.

And then the investigations will start. And your endorsements will waiver. And you'll read about yourself on the front pages of papers worldwide. And, if you're really lucky, one day your ex-girlfriend - the one you were hiding from your wife and kids - will testify in open court that steroids made your testicles shrink.

So here's to the start of the 2009 baseball season. May it be the last season dogged by steroids and scandal.