Happy New Year!

I'm home! I had a terrific holiday with my family. I'm incredibly thankful it's not snowing in San Francisco. I have a stack of Christmas cards on my kitchen table to sort through. And I'm off for another little adventure over the next few days. I am a very lucky girl. And I'm determined to make 2011 a better year than 2010, which, all things considered, was pretty good. But I'll have more to say about that next week. Right now, I need to grab my sleeping bag and get going.

Happy New Year, and be careful out there tonight. See you next year.

Snowmageddon

The flurries started this morning. By midday we were in the midst of a category two hurricane. Only with snow, not rain. And temps hovering in the low 30s.

The snow is blowing sideways before being sucked back up by the wind.  It's cold and sharp, and the usually soft flakes hurt when they hit your skin. If you've never seen a winter storm before, it's pretty impressive. Cold, but impressive.

Two years, two boxes of cookies, and some very good friends

There seemed like no better way to remember my dad today, on the second anniversary of his death, than to get some friends together to celebrate his memory. Dad had a knack for making friends, and was at his best working a room. And he never met a cookie he didn't like. So, armed with Oreos and chocolate chip cookies, and surrounded by some of the people who have been most awesome in helping me through some really rough times, I hosted a little happy hour in dad's honor.

Yes, it's maybe a little odd to invite a bunch of people to a bar to toast a dead guy only one of them has ever met. And it's maybe even stranger to bring two boxes of cookies - to eat, not to dunk. But it seemed like the right thing for me to do today. I didn't want a pity party, and I didn't really need to sit alone on the couch. And I wanted to do exactly what dad told me I should do after he was gone: continue enjoying my life, and don't mope around missing him.

And so we had fun. And we laughed a lot. I think dad would have approved.

More than just the motions

Earlier this month, I promised myself I was going to reclaim Christmas this year. I'd have Christmas cards to send, and would decorate my apartment and go to parties and have some fun. And I wouldn't be the sobbing, hysterical mess I was last year at the only party I had the energy and gumption to attend.

I went to that party on Monday, and as the friend involved in last year's ugliness left for the night, we high-fived when I pointed out that I'd be leaving in much better condition this year than last. And indeed, there were no tears, and I had a lot of fun. The rest of the week promised to be a whirlwind of parties and music and friends. And that didn't work out quite the way I'd hoped, but now that I'm feeling better I was able to see a few friends for dinner and go (briefly) to a party last night. And I'll be joining my choir for dinner tonight, and I will probably have a good time without having to force myself to smile.

And the first of the cards went in the mail yesterday. And I hung a few decorations. And I can listen to (and sing) Christmas carols without crying. I realize I've got 12 days until the new year, and I know that there could still be a meltdown in there somewhere. But I think I've accomplished enough so far to qualify this holiday season as a success. And that's pretty terrific, because my dad instilled in me a pretty deep love of Christmas.  And it would suck to keep sobbing through the season.

Forcibly Designated Driver Seeks Car

So that flu but not really the flu weirdness has brought with it some fun stuff: middle-of-the-night coughing jags, a stuffy nose, and an ear infection. And, since I'm hopping on a plane in a few days, my doctor took pity on me and gave me a nice course of antibiotics. I'm already feeling better, but by Sunday I should be able to move mountains with just one finger. While blindfolded.

I've had to back out of several holiday get togethers this week. I'm especially sad to have missed the opportunity to sing in a Christmas concert at San Quentin Prison. I'd been looking forward to it for weeks, but I didn't quite have enough of a voice to even eek out a Johnny Cash impersonation last night, so I did not go to prison. But I guess, on the positive side, I didn't risk causing a flu pandemic. Probably the wardens wouldn't have been so happy with us if all of the prisoners with church privileges got sick next week.

I'm feeling well enough to meet a few friends for a little dinner tonight. We're trying a new Mediterranean place in a neighborhood I rarely visit. The menu looks excellent. So does the wine list, but as I know from a very bad experience, antibiotics + booze = catastrophe. So I'll be drinking iced tea for the next 10 days. I'm sorry I don't have a car, because DUI checkpoints will be out in force this weekend, and I could safely transport half of the city home over the next few days.

One last gasp before winter

I think I've mentioned the unseasonably nice weather in NY while I was there for Thanksgiving. I think the weeks prior to my arrival must have been equally nice, because at the end of November this was blooming in my mom's garden:

I'm holding pretty tightly to this image, because when I head back for Christmas, it'll be cold and gray and snowing. And I haven't seen enough sunshine this month to compensate for 10 days of winter.

Money better spent elsewhere

In grad school, I routinely got the flu twice each winter - once at the start of flu season and once at the end. I'd miss more than a week of school each time, I wouldn't be able to work, and I'd feel dreadful. I even almost missed my comprehensive exams because of a particularly nasty bout of the flu.

That fall I decided to get my first flu shot. I got the shot in October and I didn't get the flu at all that year. For the past few years, my former employer mandated flu shots, so they were free. Last year, my doctor insisted I get several inoculations in an effort to protect my mono-riddled body from contracting anything. And it's all worked. I have been flu free for about five years.

This year, I paid about $40 at Walgreens in October to get a flu shot. In the middle of the night last night, I had dreams about having mono again. In my dreams I had a fever and was weak and woozy and felt miserable. I woke up this morning a little confused. I knew I didn't have mono, but I've definitely got something.  I'm achy, my throat hurts, I've got a fever, and I just feel lousy.

I think, after dodging the bullet for five winters, that I've got the flu. I'm definitely not seriously ill, but I'm also not well enough to attend two choir events and three Christmas parties this week. And I also probably just infected all the people I visited with at a party last night. I hate being that person, and if I hugged you last night and you get sick next week, I'm really, really sorry.

But more than I'm mad about being sick, I'm kind of annoyed to have thrown away $40 on a faulty flu shot. That's a lot of money for somebody without a job, and I could have spent it on much better things. I could have used it for race fees, or to go to a few movies, or replace a destroyed pair of jeans, or get started on my Christmas shopping, or buy the orange juice I now really wish were sitting in my refrigerator.

Love in a bowl of tomato soup

The weather's been lousy, which has me feeling a little blue. I thought a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup would be the perfect cure. My soup professed its love for me before I ate every drop. It definitely made my day better.

Fleet footed

Five months into staying off of my healing foot, I'm feeling a little restless. Well, more than that. The other night, I really needed the head-clearing benefits of a long walk. Or at least a short walk.  I've been pain free for a few weeks (yay!). I've got adjustments to my orthotics that seem to be making a big difference. My foot feels pretty good.

So I went for a walk. The night was warm, the sky was mostly clear, and it was fabulous. And pain free! And really surprisingly fast. My Garmin clocked my first mile at about 11:46. That's about a minute faster than I've ever walked before.

Assuming my Garmin was broken, I turned around at the end of that "mile" and headed home. The second mile, by which point my feet felt fine but my legs were starting to ache, went by a little slower, but within my race pace range. I am thrilled.

I'm pretty certain the Garmin was accurate for the second mile, which means that I haven't lost as much speed as I figured I would have. So when I start training again in a few months, I won't have as much work to do before I can race again. I am elated. I'm also being very careful. This was a good test walk, but it's the last one I'll be doing for awhile. I want to make sure my foot is fully healed before I start walking again. But I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

On the Internet

If I hear one more person tell me that the only way I'm going to be able to date in this city is to subscribe to the Internet dating sites, I think I'm going to ram my computer down his or her throat.

I mean no offense to anybody who met their spouse through Yahoo personals, or Match.com, or courtesy of Craig and his list. A good number of my friends have met spouses and partners this way, and that's awesome and wonderful and obviously worked well for them. But what's right for you isn't always right for me.

I know, since I've found apartments and jobs and sold furniture and books on the web, and since I've been writing on the Internet for the past five years, that perhaps dating through the Internet would be a logical step. Except for one thing: I don't really like to shop on the Internet. Seriously. In the same way I would much rather go into a store to touch and squeeze and inspect that book or blanket or sweater or bag of apples before I buy it, I would much rather meet somebody face-to-face BEFORE considering dinner or coffee with him.

I am a very quick, very sharp judge of character. My instincts are very important to me, and I feel that gets lost  - or at least somewhat muddied - in the midst of winks and smiles and back and forth through a website. I'd rather have social networking follow the beginning of a relationship, and not precede it.

I've obviously been giving this some thought lately, spurred by a few conversations friends and the only somewhat subtle insistence by a few people in my life that I should be dating more. Eh, that's not where my priorities lie right now. However, when my focus shifts to the dating aspect of my social life, I'll be asking friends to set me up, and I'll be out more, and in front of the computer less.