My People

In college, my friends used to joke about how I was likely to disappear one day, having followed the tour bus or caravan or car with the dancing bear sticker, and been sucked into some big Grateful Dead extended family, never to be seen again.

Those friends may not have shared my taste in music, but they were always on the hunt for "my people," and would point out every Grateful Dead sticker or t-shirt we passed. I love those friends, but I'd always wished just one of them shared my musical tastes, because going to concerts with friends is so much more fun than going alone.

A few friends have tried over the years to understand some of the music I like, and we definitely meet in the middle sometimes. But there's really nothing worse than the friends who come to a show and end up having a really bad time. So mostly I went to shows alone.

And then I met a guy, and not only did we like many of the same bands, but we introduced each other to a bunch of new ones, and we went to a lot of awesome shows together. And we talked a lot about the role music would play in the rest of our lives.

And then we broke up, and I went back to going to concerts alone. Or not going at all. And while that relationship is long over - and its end was absolutely the right thing for me - I still miss that part of our relationship. A lot. Because nobody else I know has more than a passing interest in any of my favorite bands. And 20 years of going to shows mostly on my own is getting a little boring. And I have tickets to see three bands in the next few weeks, and my people can't seem to find me. Perhaps I need to start sending smoke signals.